Thursday, 6 April 2017

The first crush


                                    The first crush- I


 It was mid April,2010. The School vacations were over. The new session had to  just begin and i was finally excited .It had been a really dull vacation for me. I studied at C.B.S.E board school while most of my friends were at the State board,and the difference of the vacations made me alone all day. so i was literally excited about the re-opening of school
I was glad to be back in school again, surrounded by my friends again and listening at their astounding tales of vacations.Bit by bit the classroom was filled by the students now. Somewhere between these talks, I looked out of the window.

There were this bunch of girls whispering in  inaudible voices, walking in a tiny verandah just opposite of our classroom.As they arrived close to  the classroom,my vision got clearer. And this was the moment when i saw this unfamiliar face which i hadn't forgotten for a long time. She had the most beautiful smile. The thick glasses she had, gave the touch of mystique which are irresistible to me. And i could not help but to notice that mole on her upperlip  which adds gorgeous and stunning to her looks. I may have blacked out whole this moment. Love at first sight woud be the cheesiest thing to imply this but a part of me definitely wanted to know her.

"trriinng" The school bell rang. I woke up from my thoughts. Morning  classes had started. Oh shit..! she was gone. Then i realised i hadn't notice which way she went. Although she was gone, i still had her in my eyes. That amazing smile, her beautiful face had entirely intoxcicated my head and it felt right. God i missed her already.
This was the day i first saw her.
I hoped to see her again. soon. :)

                               The first crush- II    

 Her name was Riya. Oh beautiful Riya! I was totally into her after i first saw her the other day. I couldn't get her off my mind. I was  obsessed. Anyway she was a friend of friend. Thats how i knew her name. Riya had just joined the school and we were at the same class but only at different section.

Forfunately we had this same Hindi class where we had to share the classroom. I would try to sit in a seat where i could get the clearer view of her. Watching her had become an addiction. she was intelligent . She was beautiful, she was smart. Everytime i see her i would be in a whole other world. I would look her fixing her glasses, sometimes she would loosen  up her hair just to brace it up again bewitchingly. i loved every single thing about her. She was perfect. Her cute smile was her biggest asset. Clearly, She was the cutest girl i had ever seen and way out of my league. And yes, i haven't talked to her yet. Not a word.

How did i look?
I was a geek and not attractive. At all. I was ugly. Literally.I had always been a shy and apprehensive about the girls. I knew i could never had her. Sometimes i just wished if she could hear the every words i say which i coudn't actually say it to her.I was totally intimidated by her. The irony is that an ugly guy having a crush on the cutest girl he had ever seen. why her??
Nerds fall in love. Way too quickly. Was i in love with Riya? I really didn't know. But she was the first thing i thought of in the morning,  the last at night and everything in between. She became the reason i would never miss a single class. I never fail to sieze the moment just to see her. weird?. And if you guys call these a love, then love it is.

My obsession had added on. At some point i think she knew about me. Why wouldn't she anyway?. I had been staring at her for almost half year. Yes six months without a word. I hoped she wouldn't misunderstand me for as an idiot or some kind of creep. Sometimes i wished if could say all these things and get over with it. The constant fear of rejection and boo-boo had always kept me away from approachig her.

"Hey..Riya" .
"Hi, Siddarth".she said and smiled.
OMG. she knows my name. she knows my name. why wouldn't she know, idiot. We shared a classroom for a year.
It was the last day of our high school. Everyone was hooked at the farewell party. And i was still there Struggling to talk to Riya.
"'re nice..and i like you" I said apprehensively.
"Well.,thankyou Siddarth". she said still smiling.
She was at her desk, perhaps waiting for her girlfriends. she was never alone and was always surrounded by her friends. This was one of the reasons i dreaded to talk to her.
"So..what next? I mean arts or science?". I asked just to break the ice.
"Umm..i haven't really thought of it. Listen  Sid. i have to go. I'll see you latter". She answered and grinned.
So finally after a year, i had this real conversation with Riya. It was the happiest day ever. After the farewell, I never saw her. Well apparently she was all set to go Delhi for higher studies. Although i cherished those moments. Those days. The girl with the cutest smile. The First Crush ever.